Child at Play

The other day I went by Lily's school to pick her up after class to take her to a doctor's appointment.  I arrived a little earlier than planned.   As I approached the school, I could see that her class was outside playing in the playground.  I squinted and peered at the pile of kids, trying to see if I could find Lily among them.  I couldn't.  Where was she?

I started to be sad for Lily, knowing she was missing out on playtime.  Then I spotted her.  I discovered that she and her aide were sitting on the sidelines watching the children play.

At first my heart sank.  It killed me to see her sitting there... just watching.

I got a bit emotional when I saw Lily in her aides arms while she watched the other children... PLAY.   It broke my heart (as it would for any parent to see).

Before I could get too emotional, I watched Lily and her aide interact with one another.  Lily's aide had picked Lily up and had begun to walk her all around so that she could see what each of the kids in her class were doing on the playground.  Then I watched as the aide squeezed and cuddled Lily close to her chest.  I could see that my Lily was loved.  More importantly, I could see that Lily was just fine watching the other children play as she sat in the arms of her dear, dear aide.

While I observed this sweet exchange, Lily was passed to another aide who was sitting in a swing nearby.  I watched as Lily sat on her lap and was swung high into the air.  I was so emotionally set back that I couldn't take another picture.  I just sat in my car while tears streamed down my face.

What I had realized was that...

Lily was playing.

Lily was swinging.

Lily was happy.

I know that even though she may not play like other children, Lily was still playing.  It showed all over her bright little face at that moment as she swung high into the air.

While I sat in my car and looked on, I thought to myself, "How am I so lucky to be this little girl's mother?"  I am able to witness such special moments every day as Lily's life unfolds before me.   As her life unfolds before others.  I get to have these sweet experiences as I witness others being touched by my little girl.  I get to see them learning from her.  I get to see love in all it's forms because of Lily.   I am so blessed.

These past three years, I have changed.  Changed for the better.  Changed, because of Lily.

I know that sometimes life doesn't always play out like I thought it would.  It never has, so why would it start now?   I know that I need to have enough faith so I can handle the setbacks that Lily will experience.  THAT can be hard for me to accept at times.  However, I also know that there is someone greater who knows me, who knows Lily and He knows what we are capable of doing together.

It all comes down to having enough faith.  Faith to believe that Lily will have a wonderful life in spite of what is ahead of her.  I believe that sometimes it isn't a matter of having enough faith to walk on water as Peter did when Jesus asked him to, "Come."  Sometimes it takes faith just to be able to swim.  So I do.

One day I know that I will understand Lily's plan.  In the meantime, I'll help her to swing high in the air—and that is enough for now.

Someone hitched a ride when I turned to talk to a neighbor.
They are both entirely too cute.