Before There Was Lily

Before there was Lily, I was just barely married a year to Martin.  Before Martin, I was single, single, single.  I wrote about some of the pressures of being single in my first post, but there was so much more to that.  I am sure as this blog progresses and I learn to trust my reader, and well, myself, I'll delve deeper into my single-dom.  I think there are some good lessons to be learned by looking back and reminiscing, but I promise that I will never repeat my single days again. Never!

Before I had Lily, I was a working woman.  I worked in marketing for a large technology company. Boy, I loved that job.  I had a great boss, fabulous co-workers and I traveled... everywhere.  When one is single like I was, it was no "biggie" to take off to Paris or Barcelona for work.  Sometimes I would work a weekend in New York then spend a few nights in Las Vegas.  I stayed in big, posh hotels and ate at fine restaurants. I am making it sound a bit too glamorous, but it really was a great place to park myself for quite a few years.  Especially being single.  I loved it.

In front of the Trevi fountain, Rome, Italy.  Trying my hand at luck.

Before I had Lily, I got up every morning and washed my hair, put on my makeup and dressed impeccably for the day.  I got my hair done every 6 weeks (which I still do. thankyouverymuch!) and occasionally I would go in for a monthly maintenance for a mani/pedi.  It was my job to be well-groomed and I liked looking good and wearing the latest trends while putting way too much $$ on my all too handy Amex.  Luckily my paycheck could handle the expense.  I look back now and laugh about how much it cost me to look like a million bucks.  Beauty comes with a price, as in moocho bookoo.

Before I had Lily, my life revolved around social activities.  It was wake boarding with a bunch of singles on a Saturday.  Going to a singles church meeting on Sunday.  Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and, of course, Friday were set aside for dating.  I went on fun dates to fun restaurants and saw every movie that was worth being seen.  I made SURE that my single days were never EVER lonely and filled with one activity or dinner or both.  If they weren't, I always had the best roommates to sit around and laugh with.  Life was always about having fun!

Before I had Lily, Martin and I dated up a storm.  Martin is a great husband but he was a pretty great boyfriend as well.  He took me to California on our very first REAL date.  We spent a weekend playing at the shore, visiting with his old friends (which are now my old friends).  We went to museums and put at least 300 miles on our rental in just three days. After that, we went on road trips, out to fancy dinners with friends and Martin gave me flowers.  Ohhhhhhh how I love me some flowers from the man I love. They still make my knees buckle whenever he walks in the house with them.

Dating Martin was always a fun adventure.

After dating up a wild storm with Martin, we got married. With marriage comes bliss.  Well, it did in my case.  I was blissfully happy.  

Coming out of the Salt Lake Temple just after getting married.
I love this photo because it really was such a happy moment.

That isn't to say that we had growing pains when it came to building our lives together.  I won't lie to myself or my reader when I say that it is tough for two VERY single, independent people, who had been single for way too long, to just settle in and be content with marriage.  This was a new thing for both of us, especially me.  Letting go of being single was harder than I thought it would be.  Luckily I had/have a wise husband and he recognized that this girl (me) didn't need her wings clipped.  So, he gave me time to settle in to this thing called marriage.  For Martin? Well, he had some settling in to do as well.  Martin has a good dose of healthy, wanderlust—meaning, where is the next adventure going to take him? So it was hard for him, at first, to realize that he couldn't just head for the ocean or the mountains without taking me along.  However, I also realized that I needed to be a little lenient with him and his hobbies, because this man used to swim with whales in the open sea.  Who can deprive their husband of something that is truly his passion?  Not me.

Martin saw this whale and jumped out of his boat to get a closer look.  No fear involved when it comes to this man.

At first, our marriage was a funny, awkward dance for the two of us. In time, we got the hang of it.  Now our Two-step, Argentine Tango, Ballroom, Salsa or whatever dance that presents itself to us at the moment, is fierce and in sync.  We finally got the hang of it and it is quite a relief and much better than getting my toes stepped on all the time.  Martin and I make quite the dance partners these days—but it took/takes work Every. Single. Day. We work at it.

Where I once occupied Martin's lap, now sits Lily.
A much cuter version of me.

Now... Now I am four and a half years in to my marriage and now we have Lily.  Life is brighter, happier and stuffed full of love. I thought I was the happiest that I could ever be the day I got married.  Then, well then, I had Lily and THAT was the happiest that I thought I could ever be.  Then just yesterday, as I was pulling Lily off the bus, and Martin was home discussing our next big adventure with me, I thought to myself, "I am so content with the life that I have carved out for myself. I love this woman that I have become.  I love being a wife and I really love being a mother.  Why did I have to wait so long for this kind of happiness?  Why couldn't all of this have started sooner?"  

One of our many, adventurous trips.
Trekking through Nepal up to Everest Base Camp.

Now, I still travel but this time it is WAY more fun when you have someone to share it with. Let me repeat myself, it is WAY MORE FUN!  When it comes to fashion, I love all the new trends but it's not so important that I get to Anthropologie to buy the latest generation in skirts and sweaters.  Although I love the Sundance, JCrew and Brooks Brothers catalogs, I can pass it all up if it doesn't suit my current lifestyle.  Besides, these days, I find myself in Lululemon and BodyGap anyway and perhaps more than I'd like.  

Before Lily came into the picture, my life was pretty near perfect in a worldly sense.  I had it together (plus I smelled pretty good).  Now, my days are spent doing laundry, endlessly sweeping the kitchen floor, changing sheets, getting my little girl ready for school and smothering my husband in the best way I know how to love him.  Some days are still glamorous.  I get to dress up and go out to a great meal with my husband and friends, but other evenings are just plain quiet.  My life is far from perfect. I have a daughter with special needs.  I have a body that still needs to shed a few pounds.  My hair is graying faster than I can keep up with it (but I do). I can't get out for a mani/pedi as much as I'd like.  Today, I stick to a budget and I am often found in the kitchen making up fun dinners for me and my family.  My life is glamorous but in a different way now.  My emphasis these days is on Lily, Martin, our family and making our house the kind of home that will always welcome others.  

If I was still single and had the chance to look in on my life as it is today... yes, it looks a little lackluster.  BUT I would see a smart, confident, radiant sometimes cranky (but in the best kind of cranky), lovely and kind lady.  I would see a daughter of God.  A woman made in His best image.  I would see a good mother and a loving wife.  This woman would be a busy woman—perhaps sometimes too busy for her own good.  Most of all, I would see a woman who is pretty close to feeling complete, full of self-worth and pleased with how it's all turned out so far.  If I saw how it is today, back when I was skinny and single, I would ask, "What's the fastest way to get there and when do I start?"  

Life before Lily just wasn't the life that I have now and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Costa Rica, 2010